Young Lover Enjoying

I still wondered how a cock would be in my ass. I know my toy felt great, but I wanted the real thing.After I hit 21, I could go to the bars, and we had just 1 gay bar in town. I left home, and got to the gay bar around 9 or so. It was right before Thanksgiving, and it had snowed the night before. The bar wasn't too crowded, everyone must have went back home for the holidays, so I went up to the bar, sat down and ordered a beer. A couple beers later I think I had enough courage to start talking to the guy a few stools down. He soon found out that I was curious about getting fucked in my ass, and he let it slip that he had a hot tub. We finished our drinks and I followed him to his place. The warm water against a cold night always feels good.He gave me a brief tour of his place, and we ended up in the changing area. His tub was outside, about 15' away from the house. I said I dont have a suit, and he told me it wasnt a problem and started to drop his pants. So I began to. I aspired to be more than just a slave, I deserved more, or so I thought! She always made me beg for my orgasm, pushing me to the extremes and make me earn my pleasure. That was all empowering and very stimulating, But I wanted HER, her love, affection, empathy, heart, and body.I just wanted the whole of HER. I wanted to look into her eyes, kiss her lips, hold her arms, go on a date, make love, sleep with her, on her, beside her. I wanted love. I craved for it.She didn’t want to deal with it, with me, with my love. She let me go after shattering me into a million pieces – leaving me craving for an orgasm on her hand. It was a long time ago!I promised myself that day. If someone was going to finger me to cum – it would be HER, her hand. I have never let anyone else finger me to cum. I always made them give me an oral or even fuck me but never let them touch my cunt.It has been 4 years now, but I will not forget the promise I made to myself. I still do not have the courage to confront.
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